Emotional intelligence means to be and to behave intelligently when someone is emotional. Not easy, however not Impossible. To be understood start understanding.
I am a very emotional person by nature. I can feel others emotions very easily and that makes me vulnerable sometimes.
Emotions are the feelings we go through everyday, the way we feel is the way we react and respond to the situations. Emotions are associated with mood, temperament, personality, disposition, and motivation. Positive and negative emotions won’t occupy the mind equally at the same time.
How many times have we said this to someone ?
“I am sorry for raising my voice. I was a bit angry and couldn’t control”.
Why? Because as you said you couldn’t control‐the emotion at that time‐it was Anger.
Majority of the time, emotions control us, instead of we controlling the emotions.
This makes us Emotional hostages
Are we able to manage our emotions? Are we emotionally aware? An emotionally intelligent person is both highly conscious and aware of their own emotions as well as emotions of others.
Be SMART and learn how our positive state of mind helps us manage our own emotions and feelings and helps us build stronger relationships.
S — Self Awareness — Are you ware of what emotions you are going through at this moment in time? Being aware of our emotions makes us understand the state of our being and that helps us understand why we are feeling that way. Next time you notice yourself in a negative state (or a positive one), stop whatever you’re doing and just observe. Why do you feel this way? What’s the root cause of your emotion? Notice what you notice.
M — Manage Yourself — One’s you are aware of your emotional state, you will then be able to take charge of your emotions and will be able to control how you react to the situation or people around you. It helps in this way — Not getting triggered by someones opinion, not get affected by unexpected situations, pausing and then responding rather than reacting to the triggers.
A — Adjust your attitude — Once you are aware of your emotions and are able to control them you can then be able to understand others emotions very well. Next time when you are interacting with someone pay attention to their body language. The words they are using and the body language is it matching or there is conflict between them. We can understand others emotions through their body language, words and feelings they are going through.
R — Respect yourself and others — There is a saying “Treat people the way you want them to treat you”. It means be kind and respectful to yourself and others. When we are in control of our emotions and are able to understand others pain and emotions very well then it becomes easy to handle relationships and build mutual respect. We are then able to handle others emotions very well by being empathetic and a good listener.
T — Talk less Listen more — Listen with all your heart. True listening is, listen to what is unsaid. Learn to read between the lines by understanding the emotions behind what someone is saying. Listen without any judgement and assumptions. When someone is going through trauma, anxiety or depression all they want is someone who can just listen to them without giving any advice or opinions or suggestions. Be the person who is truly compassionate and non judgemental.
So be SMART and understand your’s and others emotions to become the best version of yourself.