The Million Dollar Question
WHO AM I?
You know there is a saying “Better to ask a question than to remain ignorant “
I realised this much later in my life. From childhood I was very shy and introvert, very naive and quiet. But I never understood the meaning of what being introvert really means. I thought that this is how I am and it’s ok if I feel that way.
But also I always used to think that why am I not able to communicate, confront, or be comfortable in raising my hand in class when asked a question by the teacher or be the main character in the school founders day plays or why I have never been assigned the class leader’s position.
And from there my negative self talk started in my head and I started to think of me like this — I am not good enough, I am not capable, I am not smart enough, I don’t have it in me, I am fit for nothing, no one likes me, and so on and so forth.
I used to fear of being called by the teacher to read out the lesson. I used to get scared of what will my friends think of me if I ask a question which they think is silly. I used to get afraid of sitting in the front row as I used to think that I am not smart enough.
You see how from childhood we start building an image of ourselves in our mind that makes us feel that we are not good enough. But are we born that way?
When we are born we come in this world with a clean slate. We are happy, cheerful, playful, loved by all, cared by all and we are the centre of attraction and star of our small little universe.
We are born fearless. We are born free. Free of self criticism, free of judgement, free of self sabotage.
But as we grow and put ourselves out in this world everything starts changing around us. The little child who was the star of the house is now a confused, fearful, scared individual who is always trying to figure out who am I?
But you know what, you are not alone. Look around you, every person you see is afraid of something, who doesn’t know if he/she is good enough or capable enough. Some are of course very clear of what they are here for, what they want and what they are capable of. But some like us are still stuck in the past with constant negative self talk, have low self image issues.
But after being in this place for years I have realised that this is not the good place to be in. You will never live fully if you are stuck in your comfort zone. You will always feel powerless, always feel insecure, always feel sacred and never be able to live the life of your dreams.
I realised at the age of 43 that nothing is ever going to change if I don’t change myself. I realised that change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous in the end.
When at 43, I started to change my reality and started pursuing Image Consulting, going for classes managing home, doing assignments, giving exams, it sure was very very hard at the beginning. After getting certified, started my entrepreneurial journey, getting clients, doing workshops, finding my niche, it was sure a mess at the middle. But today I feel on top of the world, I feel so grateful and satisfied that I have created my identity, made my personal brand image and is so gorgeous and magical. Though it’s not the end, i have a long way to go.
But I now have a vision and a mission in my life to empower and help women like me who are still stuck in their comfort zone and are struggling to understand themselves. Who are still living in their past and are afraid to change their future. Who are still having low self image issues but doesn’t know where to start from.
I just want them to ask this million dollar question — WHO AM I?